The Engineering Song

We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers!
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum and come along with us,
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

1

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show all the villagers her lovely bare white hide.
The most observant man of all, an Engineer, of course
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse!

2

"I've come a long, long way" she said "and I will go as far,
With the man who takes me off this steed and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her off her horse and stood her to a beer,
Were a blurry eyed surveyor and a drunken Engineer!

3

My father was a miner in the Upper Malamute;
My mother was a madam in a house of ill repute.
They kicked me out at an early age for drinking all the beer,
Saying "Go to Carleton you son of a bitch and join the Engineers!"

4

An Artsman and an engineer once found a gallon can,
Said Artsman to the Engineer "Out drink me if you can."
The Artsman took three sips and died, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer kept drinking, it was only gasoline!

5

On reading Kama Sutra, they tried Position Nine.
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day, the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble Artsie and she an Engineer!

6

My mother peddles opium, my mother's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets bu now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they won't even speak to me 'cause I'm an Engineer!

7

Venus is a statue, made entirely of stone.
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were broke, an Engineer discoursed:
"Of course the damn thing's broken, it should be reinforced!"

8

I happened once upon a girl who's eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my surprise she told me that she never had been kissed;
Her boyfriend was a Queen's Applied Scientist!

9

Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They had heard the Spanish Rum Fleet was headed out that way.
But the Engineers had beaten them, by night and half a day,
And though they were so far away, you could still hear them say......

10

Ceasar went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra's blood was red; her heart was young and free.
And every night when Ceaser said good night at one o'clock,
A Roman engineer was waiting just around the block!

11

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in a park;
The Engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe;
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left hand traced the curves!

12

The army and the navy men were out to have some fun,
Looking for a tavern where the fiery liquors run.
All they found were empties, for the Engineers had come
And traded all thier instruments for gallon jugs of rum!

13

An Engineer once came to class, so drunk and very late,
And carrying a load that you'd expect to ship by frieght.
The only thing that held him up and kept him on his course,
Were the boundry condition and the hydrostatic force!

14

A commie and an Engineer were stranded in a boat,
But one guy was too heavy, so the poor boat couldn't float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So they flipped it in the water and the commie gave pursuit!
(Commie = commerce student)

15

Elvis was a legend; he's the King of Rock n' Roll,
But the life that he was leading-well, it finally took it's toll.
He realized too late that he picked the wrong career,
So he faked his death and came to Carleton-now he's an Engineer!

16

Engineer's have got the dates and that is a known fact,
It's not the way we part our hair, or in the way we act.
It's that we're such good lovers with that extra special touch,
Since you have to get so skillfull when you FUCK the dog so much!

17

Now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
We love to love our women (fellas), and we love to love our beers.
We drink to everybody who comes from far and near,
'Cause we're hell-of-a, hell-of-a, hell-of-a, hell-of-an Engineer!

Ian Hofmann's Stanza (My Artsie roommate slept through his 11:30 am class for about
the 4th time in a row, and this just came to my head. I feel it's appropiate):

An Engineer has to go to class every single day,
While an Artsie never has to go, he can just stay home and play.
But they know everything they need to know, and that is a fact,
They already know how to say "Do you want fries with that?"

Envy Stanza (Brennan Soutar gets credit for this one):

In EngFrosh 98 there was a group of frosh so good,
Everyday they proved thier way like every engfrosh should.
They were the best by far as anyone could plainly see,
Don't you wish, you wish, you wish, you wish you were with group Envy!

Evan's Stanzas

We were drunk in Ollie's when we should have been in class.
Some artsies were in Roosters taking commies up the ass.
They came down to start a fight and take away our beer,
But we killed 'em all. Don't fuck with us 'cause we're the Engineers.

Some local engineering students got into a fray.
A couple G.G.'s lost a bet and didn't want to pay.
They said that they were low on cash, they'd have it in an hour,
So we took them back to campus and tossed 'em off of Dunton Tower.

Alternate Pub Crawl Chorus:

We're lost, we're lost, we're lost, we're lost and don't know where we are!
We want, we want, we want to find a bar!
Don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come and follow us,
For we don't know where the hell we are but FUCK we're on a bus!